Adoption Search Tips - Search Tips Advice for your search.... Future Warp en-US Susan Friel-Williams Adoption Search Tips 0.000000 0.000000 Searching for a Sibling placed for Adoption <p><a title="Searching for a Sibling placed for Adoption" href=""><img style="float: right;" title="Searching for a Sibling placed for Adoption" src="" alt="Searching for a Sibling placed for Adoption" width="342" height="191" /></a> One of our most common requests here at Search Quest America comes from siblings who find out late in life that they have a another sibling that was placed for adoption.&nbsp; Some people are shocked that they were not told about the adoption, but most are also excited at the possibility of finding their missing family member.</p> <p>Many siblings have very little information to start with when they are looking for a sibling placed for adoption so it's imperative that you do preliminary work prior to posting information on the Internet.</p> <p>When you are in search of a sibling placed for adoption, the first thing you 'must' do is discover his or her date of birth and place of birth (city and state).&nbsp; Very few states have public resources that professionals can access to find birth record information.&nbsp; However do you have a starting point in that you know your parent's name at the time of the birth.</p> <p>If possible, ask your mother or father for the exact date of birth.&nbsp; Ask if they named the adoptee prior to placement.&nbsp; Adoptees may have their decree of adoption which in all probability lists their name at birth.&nbsp; In many states this may be the adoptee's only document with birth identity listed.</p> <p>If your parents are deceased, turn to other family members for answers.&nbsp; Check in a family bible for a date of birth.&nbsp; If someone in your family is actively recording family genealogy, check with that relative to see if he or she has a record of your sibling's birth.&nbsp; If you are Catholic there is a good possibility that your sibling was baptised within three days of birth.&nbsp; It may be possible to discover that date of birth by retrieving the original baptismal record.</p> <p>Sometimes your mother or father's old friends may remember the circumstances if they knew about the birth and adoption.&nbsp; If your mother is deceased but her 'best friend' from that era is still living, odds are your mother may have shared details of the pregnancy and birth with her best friend.&nbsp; Reach out and talk to her about this.</p> <p>The one thing that 99% of adoptees know is their date, city and state of birth.&nbsp; In order to 'match' on any registry site, or even to start sending inquiries to adoption agencies or state agencies you are going to have to be sure of your siblings date of birth&nbsp;for the best chance at a potentially successful match.</p> <p>If you are positive of the state of birth of your sibling, check with the post adoption entity in that state to see if they have a sibling registry which allows siblings to register.&nbsp; You will need to fill out a form, and may also need to get it notarized.&nbsp; Include as much information on the form as you can, including both birth parents maiden and surnames as well as their dates of birth and the adoption agency used.</p> <p>Good Luck in your Quest!</p> <p><img style="margin-right: 5px; margin-left: 5px;" title="Susan Friel-Williams" src="" alt="Susan Friel-Williams" width="72" height="60" /> Susan E. Friel-Williams<br /> CEO, Case Manager and Licensed Investigator<br /><a title="Search Quest America" href="" target="_blank">Search Quest America</a></p> 6, 10 Aug 2012 00:00:00 -0500 Search Tips Susan 0 Advice for Birth Mothers on Starting a Search <p><a title="Advice for Birth Mothers on Starting a Search" href=""><img style="float: right;" title="Advice for Birth Mothers on Starting a Search" src="" alt="Advice for Birth Mothers on Starting a Search" width="342" height="191" /></a> Thank &nbsp;you for your courage in starting a search!</p> <p>If you are a birth or original&nbsp;mother in search of an adoptee and are just starting your search, or if you have been searching for many years and are frustrated at your lack of success, you should understand that unfortunately in most states, the success of your search can be long and difficult, BUT not impossible.</p> <p>Your son or daughter may not know very much about you.&nbsp; It's doubtful that the agency gave your name to the adoptee OR the adoptive parents.</p> <p>Most states 'legally limit' the non-identifying or identifying information that they will provide to the adoptee on request due to sealed records laws.&nbsp; That said, there ARE certain things that YOU can do to help the adoptee find you!</p> <p>1.&nbsp; Tell all your friends and family about the birth and adoption!&nbsp; If they should receive a letter or a call from someone inquiring about you they are prepared to be welcoming to that party. Make sure they know to request and document the name, address and phone number of the party asking about you.&nbsp; I cannot tell you how many times adoptees and birth mothers have NOT been reunited because some 'well meaning' member of a family took it upon themselves to 'protect' their family member without asking first.</p> <p>2. Verify for yourself the city, state and DATE of birth. Placing a child for adoption can be a very traumatic experience, and the memories of events that occured around the birth of your child can be muddled and blurred.&nbsp; It is not uncommon to be off a day or two on the child's date of birth, so it is crucial that you start off in search with the correct date.</p> <p>You can contact the placing agency and see if they will confirm your birth and adoption placement with them.&nbsp; You could also contact the hospital of birth.&nbsp; Although hospitals routinely destroy patient records after a specified period of time, they may have archived the labor and delivery room log, or admittance records in another location.&nbsp; Ask where they might be.</p> <p>3.&nbsp; Make yourself EASY to be found!!</p> <p>Hyphenate your last name on some documents, job applications or loan applications that would make it to a credit bureau report, thus flagging your personal information.&nbsp; Use your maiden name as your full middle name on others.&nbsp; If you have an unlisted telephone number, please get a public number under your maiden name.&nbsp; Some adoptees 'may' know their birth mother's name, so it certainly makes sense to help make it easier for them to find you.</p> <p>Contact the placing agency and ask to place a consent for contact in your son or daughter's adoption file.&nbsp; Each state, and each agency has their own rules and requirements for this, but don't skip trying.</p> <p>If the state your adoptee was born in has a state sponsored mutual consent registry waste no time in sending in your own registration.&nbsp; Make sure that you fill out all the information requested.&nbsp; You may need to submit a copy of your identification with the completed form, and some states require that the request be notarized.</p> <p>Register at ISRR!&nbsp; Each and every adoptee that starts a search is sent to 'one' International Registry.&nbsp; It stands to reason that if each and every birth mother in search also registers, there will be lots of matches and lots of happily reunited people.&nbsp; You can visit their website at <a href=""></a> .</p> <p>Internet Registries are also good!&nbsp;&nbsp; Two of the most popular are at <a href=""></a> and <a href=""></a></p> <p>Good Luck in your Quest!</p> <p><img style="margin-right: 5px; margin-left: 5px;" title="Susan Friel-Williams" src="" alt="Susan Friel-Williams" width="72" height="60" /> Susan E. Friel-Williams<br /> CEO, Case Manager and Licensed Investigator<br /><a title="Search Quest America" href="" target="_blank">Search Quest America</a></p> 3, 19 Jun 2012 00:00:00 -0500 Search Tips Susan 0 Advice for Adoptees Starting an Adoption Search <p><a title="Advice for Adoptees Starting an Adoption Search" href="../advice-for-adoptees-starting-an-adoption-search"><img style="float: right;" title="Advice for Adoptees Starting an Adoption Search" src="" alt="Advice for Adoptees Starting an Adoption Search" width="342" height="191" /></a> If you are an adoptee contemplating a search for your birth or biological family, the very first place to start is at the beginning, on the day you were born.</p> <p>Check your birth certificate.</p> <p>It may list more than you think. Depending on the State that issued it, the certificate may list your time of birth, the hospital, the delivering doctor's name and other things you can use in your search. If you have an amended 'short form' birth certificate, try to obtain what is called a 'long form' birth certificate. It may tell you more than what you currently have.</p> <p>If your adoptive parents are still living, now is the time to ask them several questions. Emotionally this can be a difficult step because you may not want to 'hurt' your parents' feelings or cause them any distress, however it IS necessary. Many adoptive parents are only waiting until you ask to give your information or documents in their safe keeping.</p> <p>Some of the things you need to ask them are:</p> <p>1. Was my adoption through social services, an adoption agency (such as Children's Home Society or Catholic Charities) or was my adoption a private adoption 'arranged' between an attorney and the birth mother?</p> <p>It is important to know what type of adoption agency you were placed through, so that you know what agency or entity to contact for information now that you are an adult.</p> <p>2. Do you have any documentation from the time of my adoption?</p> <p>These documents could include the Decree of Adoption (which often times lists a birth name or surname), a relinquishment document which may list your birth parent's names, or admission or discharge papers from the hospital. Your parents may have written down information in your baby book or album, or other papers which your parents kept or made notes on during the adoption process.</p> <p>3. Do you know anything else about my birth parents?</p> <p>Some adoptive parents were able to see documentation that was later sealed at the time of the adoption, and many an adoptee has been surprised when they ask their mom and dad for information and find out their parents were just waiting to be asked.</p> <p>If you cannot ask your parents about your adoption, you may be able to ask other living family members if they know some of the answers to the above questions. Write down every bit of information you receive, even if you think it is not important. In fact we suggest that at the beginning of you search you start a Search Journal.</p> <p>4. Obtain Non-Identifying information.</p> <p>One of the first things that an adoptee in search of information on his or her birth parents should do is obtain non-identifying information from either the agency (private or social services) or from the State Post Adoption Unit if the agency your parents used is no longer in existence. Each state has its own requirements for obtaining non-identifying information so research your own situation.</p> <p>Many adoptees are given a 'facts' sheet of information on their birth parents that was received by the adoptive parents during the adoption proceedings. This facts sheet was intended to familiarize the adoptive parents with the birth parents by giving limited information on the biological parents of the child they were hoping to adopt. It may list the age of the biological parents, height, weight and hair color, and possible the educational level of both birth parents. This fact sheet is not complete non-identifying information. If you do have this sheet, please also attempt to obtain full non-identifying information.</p> <p>Non-Identifying information is a Social History of your birth or biological parents. It may include their ages at the time of your birth, their physical descriptions, and likes and dislikes. It will contain very limited medical history of the biological parents and families. If your birth parents had siblings, the non-id may include their gender and years of birth. It may also tell you if any of the siblings had particular talents or interest.</p> <p>Most non-identifying information will also give you a brief description of your biological grandparents, such as their ages at the time of your birth and may also list their occupations, interests, hobbies and a brief medical history if known. It will also give you a brief breakdown on the reasons you were placed for adoption and the facts or situation which led up to that placement with you parents.</p> <p>There are other laws which regulate what information you can obtain from the agency or the state. If your non-identifying information states that one or both of you biological parents were Native American, you may have other legal options available to you.</p> <p>If you were born in one state, but adopted in another state you may have a very difficult time obtaining non-identifying information. Do not give up, this step is important.</p> <p>Now it's time to do a bit of Internet sleuthing.</p> <p>Check the laws regarding release of information in the state in which you were born. At last count 23 states have some form of a state sponsored reunion registry that you should sign up with immediately. Fees vary from free to around $50, but it is one way for both sides of an adoption proceeding to make contact and is often the only recourse for the birth family to try and contact the adoptee.</p> <p>Many other states offer what is called a confidential intermediary program. Although the format of these programs vary by content, structure and cost, all of them operate by assigning your request to a state sponsored intermediary, who then petitions the court to unseal your adoption records and attempts to locate your biological family based on the information in those records.</p> <p>The downfall to this type program is that if located and your biological family refuses contact, then by law the intermediary cannot give you any identifying information about your birth family.</p> <p>ALL adoption triad members are advised to register at the International Soundex Reunion Registry. This agency has been in existence for 30 or more years, and is the primary voluntary repository for reunion requests in the US. You can visit their site at <a href=""></a> .</p> <p>Gather your information, and then if you are still contemplating hiring a professional, you can submit your request at: <a title="Search Quest America" href="" target="_blank">Search Quest America</a></p> <p>Good Luck in your Quest!</p> <p><img style="margin-right: 5px; margin-left: 5px;" title="Susan Friel-Williams" src="" alt="Susan Friel-Williams" width="72" height="60" /> Susan E. Friel-Williams<br /> CEO, Case Manager and Licensed Investigator<br /><a title="Search Quest America" href="" target="_blank">Search Quest America</a></p> 2, 4 Jun 2012 00:00:00 -0500 Search Tips Susan 0 Welcome to Adoption Search Tips <p><a title="Welcome to Adoption Search Tips" href=""><img style="float: right;" title="Welcome to Adoption Search Tips" src="" alt="Welcome to Adoption Search Tips" width="342" height="191" /></a> Welcome to Adoption Search Tips!</p> <p>My name is Susan Friel-Williams and I am an adult adoptee who spent several long and very frustrating years in search of my biological family.&nbsp; Throughout that journey, I learned not only how to search, but also learned that there is a whole community of adoptee and birth family members who wish to reconnect.</p> <p>In 1990 I obtained my first Private Investigator license in Idaho before relocating to Loveland, Colorado.&nbsp; For several years I was also a Senior Adoption Forum Host on America Online (Family Forum) where we guided adoption triad members through the brick walls we all experience during our search.</p> <p>At the same time I was the 'search coordinator' for <a title="Adoptees In Search Denver" href="" target="_blank">Adoptee's in Search </a>&nbsp;in Denver, Colorado, which is one of the premier Search and Support groups in the nation.</p> <p>Through the connections and experiences I shared with other forum and group members, I've learned that each and every adoption triad member has 'questions' about their birth, their adoption, the self discovery process and the search process.&nbsp; Once their biological family member is located, there arises a whole 'new' set of questions on reunion issues that the family may or may not experience.&nbsp; One thing I have learned is that there is 'no' step by step process for search and reunion because each search is unique. Each case has its own set of problems and issues.&nbsp; Each reunion is as different from the next one you hear about because each reconnected family is different from another family experiencing the same thing.</p> <p>In 1998 our family moved to Florida where I became a licensed Private Investigator in this state.&nbsp; I've held an active Florida License since that time and now own my own investigative agency,&nbsp; <a title="Search Quest America" href="" target="_blank">Search Quest America</a>.&nbsp; I am much honored to be one of two Florida State Representatives for the <a title="American Adoption Congress" href="" target="_blank">American Adoption Congress</a>.</p> <p>I've been sharing search tips, reunion tips, articles and advice privately for over two decades.&nbsp; Several of my friends recently prompted me to 'start' a blog to share tips and advice with more people.&nbsp; I hope that my blog helps YOU in your search and reunion.</p> <p>Good Luck in your Quest!</p> <p><img style="margin-right: 5px; margin-left: 5px;" title="Susan Friel-Williams" src="" alt="Susan Friel-Williams" width="72" height="60" /> Susan E. Friel-Williams<br /> CEO, Case Manager and Licensed Investigator<br /><a title="Search Quest America" href="" target="_blank">Search Quest America</a></p> 6, 25 May 2012 00:00:00 -0500 Search Tips Susan 0